The things we should... esprit d'escalier!

Testing

2011-02-07T16:05:00.001-05:00

Anyone still monitoring this? If so, I wanted to let you know that the Family Indigestion Cookbook has moved.

Blog Maintenance

2006-08-14T04:56:00.000-04:00

Just in case anyone noticed, one of the scripts running on this page was leading to a ridiculous pop-up situation. I blame NEDSTAT, but I never cared to figure it out totally.

Check the View-Source and look at the script right after <head> to see what I added. I can't remember where I stole that code, but it killed those annoying ILEAD pop-ups.

--gh

/NedStat, you are on notice!
//Yeah, I got the "<" and ">" in HTML printing thing down!

My proposal for a Wyoming flag..

2005-08-26T22:39:00.000-04:00

This represents my suggestion for improving Wyoming's state flag:

I still wouldn't give it at 10 out of 10, but it would be pretty high - an 8.5 or something. Immediately recognizable with an appropriate symbol. I'm just not convinced that this particular symbol is the best possible one, nor that I'm totally a fan of the color scheme. At best, it needs a better bison sillouette.

-m

Wyomin'

2005-08-25T08:52:00.000-04:00

OK. I guess it's my turn...Here is the Wyoming state flag, presented for your review.

As G-Had did, I will hold my comments until after others have chimed in..

-m

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.....

2005-08-11T12:47:00.000-04:00

OK, here's my entry, from my home state of Oklahoma (Motto: We're almost a hundred years old!). And here, I include a picture that I found on the web because of the caption:

"Gov. Brad Henry presents a flag of Oklahoma to Irina Orazov, the wife of the

Turkmenistan

Ambassador. Orazov won the flag in a drawing during the Consul's Lunch at the governor's mansion."

Commonwealth of Virginia

2005-08-08T11:58:00.000-04:00

For this discussion, I present the flag I was born under. I had a sticker of this state flag in a "playroom" attached to my bedroom. (This room actually was part of the attic over the garage in my home.) I think the sticker is still there, actually.

I will wait for the first comment before I enter my own thoughts. But, along with the flag, I present the actual code that stipulates the flag's characteristics as well as the code describing the "seal."

§ 7.1-32. Flag of the Commonwealth.

The flag of the Commonwealth shall hereafter be made of bunting or merino. It shall be a deep blue field, with a circular white centre of the same material. Upon this circle shall be painted or embroidered, to show on both sides alike, the coat of arms of the Commonwealth, as described in § 7.1-26 for the obverse of the great seal of the Commonwealth; and there shall be a white silk fringe on the outer edge, furthest from the flagstaff. This shall be known and respected as the flag of Virginia. (Virginia Code 1950, § 7-32; 1966, c. 102.)

§ 7.1-26. The great seal.

The great seal of the Commonwealth of Virginia shall consist of two metallic discs, two and one-fourth inches in diameter, with an ornamental border one fourth of an inch wide, with such words and figures engraved thereon as will, when used, produce impressions to be described as follows: On the obverse, Virtus, the genius of the Commonwealth, dressed as an Amazon, resting on a spear in her right hand, point downward, touching the earth; and holding in her left hand, a sheathed sword, or parazonium, pointing upward; her head erect and face upturned; her left foot on the form of Tyranny represented by the prostrate body of a man, with his head to her left, his fallen crown nearby, a broken chain in his left hand, and a scourge in his right. Above the group and within the border conforming therewith, shall be the word "Virginia," and, in the space below, on a curved line, shall be the motto, "Sic Semper Tyrannis." On the reverse, [deleted]...
(Code 1950, § 7-26; 1966, c. 102.)

--gh

My proposal for a new Kansas flag

2005-08-05T13:07:00.000-04:00

By the way, here is my proposal for a new Kansas flag:

Or maybe:

(This is a non-mandatory part of the assignment, but feel free to participate..)

-m

Vexillology

2005-08-04T14:17:00.000-04:00

OK. This is a new initiative here at Staircase. I will post an image of one of the 50 states' flags, and you's will respond with commentary. We will start with Kansas, my new state. GO!

-m

New Assignment

2005-02-07T21:35:00.000-04:00

OK. Not that anyone actually ever does the assignments or anything, but the assignment for this week is to create some ASCII art - you know, the kind where you use normal alphanumeric characters to draw pitchers. N' stuff.

Yeah. For some reason, I'm lame and couldn't just paste the text itself - Courier New is not recognized or something..

-m

Backup Tombstone, #2

2005-01-26T23:15:00.000-04:00

This would probably be my second choice for a tombstone:

-m

Steve's Entry

2005-01-25T14:50:00.000-04:00

Well, I too have had a hard time getting into this assignment, but here's my best (or, more to the point, my least-worst) effort.....

-m (for S)

MY TOMBSTONE - FINALLY

2005-01-03T23:07:00.000-04:00

Obviously, I also had a hard time getting motivated to do this assignment...here is what I ended up with (emphasis was on going overboard with GIMP, rather than on a witty tombstone engraving, obviously)....

Props to Helen Triantafillou, for creating awesome Pixmap Brushes for GIMP (how I got the intial tree and grass images, which I refined from there..)

-m

My Tombstone Project

2005-01-01T02:02:00.000-04:00

Made it just in time! Hello.exe was telling me it was 11:59 when I was uploading this. It posted right when some guy that wasn't Dick Clark was counting 20 seconds to the new year. (The time stamp will be later, due to CST vs eastern time, and modifying this text on this entry...)

I must admit that I, obviously, had difficulty getting into this challenge.

--gh

Tombstone Generator

2004-12-22T12:50:00.000-04:00

Uh... apparently, this does exist: Tombstone Generator!

So... this is for Kabiebayo, who is ten-times better with words, but not necessarily a photoshop (or GIMP) guru.
--gh
(and no, I do not consider this my entry. mine will be up by new years eve, I promise)

FORGIVE MY EDITING...

2004-12-16T03:54:00.000-04:00

Sorry to all edit your post and stuff...but that picture was creeping me out....seriously...

-m

Santa

2004-12-12T23:43:00.000-04:00

I haven't started working on my gravestone yet because this image keeps distracting me:

(It's the first GIS for "Santa Claus" for crying out loud!
--gh

NEW ASSIGNMENT...

2004-12-07T14:08:00.000-04:00

So, the new assignment (this means ALL of you!) is to design your tombstone..

Feel free to use MSPaint, Photoshop, GIMP..whatever you have. If you have picture-posting issues, you can email it to me, and I'll post it.

-m

2004-12-03T19:26:00.000-04:00

I think I had it a bit easier than you, but I still did worse. I had Idaho-Maryland-Alaska-Illinois-Lousiana-Montana...Lots of coastal ones..I really screwed up on Maryland..I was like 500 miles too far south. Otherwise I was basically perfect..

-m

Place The State!

2004-12-03T14:14:00.000-04:00

Okay, let's play Place The State! Comment on your Average error in miles.

Yeah, I got a perfect score. I wasn't lucky, either, look at the first few states I had to do. Idaho was first, which helped me because I have a good sense of the width of Washington. But the second state was South Dakota, the third Kansas, and the fourth was Arkansas. Tough!

--gh

An open letter of recommendation for Fairly Crass

2004-11-22T10:36:00.000-04:00

Dude, I know that you will be looking for a job soon, possibly, so I thought I would update your recommendation letter in case I am called to do so.

Let me know where I should send this.

--gh

Propaganda Survey Assignment

2004-11-17T03:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, view the following ANWR propaganda:

Next, send comments to this post with the distortions, imagery, distractions, and possible errors. I wish I could upload the opposing side, but it is larger than 1024k.

So, I found a way to host swf files, but not how to embed them in blogger, if that is even possible.

...now I gotta do something with this:

--gh

'Lection Maps

2004-11-12T03:32:00.000-04:00

So...Somehow...I don't remember how...I ended up here. Some pretty cool maps of the elections. By pretty cool, I mean different than the "Hoooey! Look at all that red!" maps you see in the media. We're not actually so divided (at least in a geographic sense) as the maps might indicate. So perhaps a United States of Not-The-South isn't in order.

-m

2004-11-12T03:28:00.000-04:00

SORRY...

OK...Here is the picture I submitted. Fairly weak effort....

-m

Sorry Everybody

2004-11-11T22:16:00.000-04:00

Maybe this will get some Canadians. Have you seen the Sorry Everybody website? (www.sorryeverybody.com)

There are, like, some thousand photos here, mostly looking like this:

How long before Fairly Crass tells us which page his photo is on?

--gh

(M, per our conversation earlier. Either it is a good night, or blogger just got 30x faster at posting and stuff.)

Canadia

2004-11-11T12:13:00.000-04:00

Yeah. I would appreciate clarification on direction capitalization, too, since this will all come into play for my thesis. The rule I've been following (purely of my own invention) is to not capitalize it when it's adjective-fying a placename (northwestern Missouri), but capitalize it when it's nounish (...go West). But I think I'm missing something. What about "west of the Mississippi?"

I guess my rule is based on major form classes.

I'm sure you've all seen Marry An American.com by now. Just a random Canadian reference...

No..if you want Canadian hits, you should mention Tom Higgins' resignation from the Edomonton Eskimos, or you could talk about the 10 most violent, brutal, vicious fights in hockey history.

-m

O Canada!

2004-11-11T10:12:00.000-04:00

According to NedStat, the Canadian (Canadienne) readership of this page is 8/10 of 1%. With such a low overall hit-rate, I think we can substantially increase this by reaching out to our cousins to the north. (I am a geographer who has never figured out when to capitalize compass directions in writing. Steve, a little help?)

The first thing we could do is to make everything bi-lingual, which I believe is statutory with our northern neighbor. Oh, I guess the title of this blog already accomplishes this. Maybe that's enough.

I don't think including META tags about Canadian porn will be that helpful. ...but maybe that is worth a shot as well.

Maybe a comment on the loss of the Expos would bring up our readership. No, that won't work, they wouldn't even attend their games. When I was in graduate school, there were two Canadian Football League teams with the same name (Rough Riders), but the Ottawa team folded. Now only Saskatchewa possesses that team name. Interestingly, Ottawa now has a team called the Renegades.

The winner of the Grey Cup should play the Green Bay Packers (the culturally immanent football team in the States). We would call this the World Bowl, and the CFL teams would definitely have a shot since it would always be the Packers (they're close enough, and that Sacramento team never really worked out - so distance seems to be a factor).

--gh

That Bucharest Documentary still haunts me.

2004-11-10T22:37:00.000-04:00

Here ya go.

My brother told me about kids huffing and then trying to deny it to the police, even though their faces were totally covered by paint. I don't think he was working with these kids, I think a police friend of his told him the story. Reminds me of when he asked a gang-banger how long he had been in gangs. He told me his whole forehead was covered with gang words. The guy simply said: "I've never been in a gang."

Email me if you want to know why my family gang is the Hoover Crips. I don't think it is something I should post.

--gh

2004-11-10T14:22:00.000-04:00

ASSIGNMENT #4 (OR SOMETHING)

Photoshop (or GIMP or Paint) this:

-m

A statistic for Ted....

2004-10-25T15:14:00.000-04:00

Did you know that in the U.S., golf courses take up an area twice the size of the state of Delaware? I didn't. Now I do.

Mr. Moore comes to Maryville

2004-10-17T14:27:00.000-04:00

It was no where near as good as I have heard him speak on TV. Granted, he is used to audiences that are more condensed. This was outside, taking up about 1,500 to 2,000 seats in a 7-8,000 seat stadium.

In fairness, this was NOT an ENCORE presentation, like the ticket states -- that would be illegitimate electioneering. (If I was a Penn State student, or a PA tax-payer, I would be upset about next week's event. He is not discussing film-making.) At Northwest, he was only paid ticket sales. I admire Moore for that, he must have known that he wouldn't get anywhere close to the $20-30k he has become accustomed to. Oh, and he really did not take the football team on, I guess they didn't have too much time to print these or something.

My overall impression was that he was about as humorous as I expected. Many people think that he killed John Candy, but I liked the movie "Canadian Bacon." It was, you know, tender.

Back to Moore, he was sort of faxing it in, especially at the end when he was trying to whoop the crowd. (A difficult thing to do in an outside stadium that is not even a quarter full.) He passed out some clean underwear to some students that were promising to vote for the first time. I don't think this is illegal electioneering.

He was not too vitriolic, which was good for Maryville. He was not too coarse, either, especially in language. I think he cussed less than 10 times, and made only one reference to 14-year-old-sex. He made fun of the student Republican group that was protesting him with signs on the outside. I definitely laughed then, because I despise protesting and have disdain for protestors. (I grew up less than 20 miles from D.C., does it show?)

He might not have changed anyone's mind, but at least he gets people thinking. I like that he uses humor to get people thinking. This makes him a counterweight to Rush Limbaugh (whereas a feisty and mean Al Franken has a counterpart in Bill O'Reilly.) You do have to understand that I see Moore as an entertainer, so I don't get too worked up about his opinions, or in supporting people in general. (This is why I cannot imagine myself taping a bumper sticker to the inside of my window, everyone will let you down eventually.)

I will close this review (hardly can call it that, but I was there and you weren't) by quoting one of his closing remarks. He wants the slackers in this country to say:

"Bush sucks.  

Kerry sucks.

...and that is why I am voting 

for John Kerry."

Maybe M can turn that into a bumper sticker for his personal blog. Personally, I *STILL* don't know who I will vote for. A write-in for Al Sharpton is still looking pretty good right now. Those debates were lame. Maybe they should let them box or something. I hate boxing...
--gh

2004-10-16T13:10:00.000-04:00

MY SUBMISSION FOR FAMILY CIRCUS PHOTOSHOP #3...

Since G-Had is fond of quoting The Deer Hunter...

By the way, I did a search for what type of font Bil Keane uses, with WhatTheFont. Pretty nice utility....I didn't get any solid matches, really, but one of the 4 "matches" was called 'Cheltenham,' which I just found out two days ago is the name of the town in England my supervisor from NGS lives in now. Talk about coincidences!

-m

2004-10-15T12:23:00.000-04:00

Steve's entry for the Family Circus Captioning Contest #2:

Poetic Justice

2004-10-08T01:41:00.000-04:00

I am starting to feel guilty about my fake-FWD below. Today, the front cover of the Northwest Missourian ran an article on depression and it had a poem that was like 90% the same as mine. (It was different in that it was real, and it was better. For some reason, it does not appear in the online version, but you will have to trust me. It ended with some line about "finding her black cconverse washed up with the tide" or something.)

Well, I am glad this young woman expressed her feelings through writing, rather than harming herself. And, I didn't intend to demean depression. Still, I felt like I had to comment.

Speaking of coincidences, I received an email from a parent of one of my students who is at home about to have emergency wisdom teeth removal. I replied and assured him that I would contact Student Affairs so that all of her instructors could be notified. In the middle of my response (literally, the second line), Tyler comes downstairs and says "Dad, can you pull this tooth?" (Man, anything to delay bed-time.)

So, there I was yanking a baby-tooth from my 11-year-old's mouth. Then I went back and finished that message. Things seem to happen in threes, so I am anticipating my next coincidence. Steve, you would be proud to note that I did not bring up "irony." Oh yeah, and notice my use of instructor above. I tend to use this as the generic sense to refer to my colleagues. Some professors seem to dislike it (confusing the rank of title with the generic term for the figure at the front of the classroom) which makes me use it even more. I see no problem with it, and it seems technically more correct. (I don't want to say "Professors, Associate Professors, and Assistant Professors" every time I need to talk about one of us.) Oh, and I don't really think we are teachers. You know, no education classes whatsoever and stuff...
--gh

Billy kills a Hobo

2004-10-06T01:28:00.000-04:00

Here you go. I just saw his fist and waiting palm and immediately thought of Billy killing a vagrant or something.

SNAP!

--gh

ASSIGNMENT THE SECOND

2004-10-05T11:49:00.000-04:00

OK. Here is your third graphics assignment:

Photoshop (or IrfanView, etc) this:

Man..that's a beautiful forward. Perhaps we should purge them individually from the blog before we send them out.

-m

Fake FWDs-- Your next assignment

2004-10-05T08:51:00.000-04:00

Okay, thanks to Mark's comments on fake email forwards and his desire to write some more, our next assignment is to construct plausible yet ridiculous FWDs. Afterward, we can choose to release them in the wild.

Here are our guidelines:

plausible, these things are usually based on urban mythological settings such as things that could almost happen

humorous, that's part of what brings us together, isn't it?

original, not a direct rip-off of what we have already experienced, but borrowing ideas or mixing up two or more of these would be fine

infectious, it HAS to have that stupid part at the end about forwarding it to "everyone you know" or something

Personally, I have the most disdain for the faith-based FWDS, so that is probably where I will start on mine. Since I am active in my church and have a lot of church-going friends, I might end up with more of these things. I REALLY hate the awful poetry, so I give that as my first example:



>>From: QTxtian@hotmail.com

>>To: relientK412@yahoo.com; hisworld17@hotmail.com;

>>jesus-sk8ter@hotmail.com; britneyspears5107@yahoo.com

>>Date: October 5, 2004

>>Subject:If they only knew...

>>Brothers and sisters, this note was found at 

>the bottom 

>>of the locker of a freshman girl in one of our 

>area schools.  

>>It was found by her friends and teachers when 

>they cleaned 

>>out her things after she committed suicide:

>>

>>"don't you know how your words hurt me,

>>when you point how your fingers feel

>>you laughed and call me freak

>>before you prayed for your school lunch meal

>>

>>I once came to your youth group

>>and you turned your back on me

>>you made your church a social caste

>>and never reached out to me

>>

>>Just because I dyed my hair

>>and put goth make-up on

>>Doesn't mean that Jesus hates me

>>or that I should be withdrawn

>>

>>So I hope that you find this note

>>After I've done my deed

>>And the next time you point and laugh

>>at someone you will heed

>>

>>By now I am with the one who loves me

>>and will never seek for me harms

>>because I am now with Jesus

>>he's holding me in his arms.

>>

>>Forward this message to everyone in your 

>youth group 

>>as a warning to not ignore or dismiss 

>people.  

>>Unfortunately, the girl who wrote this 

>note is not in 

>>Heaven, but in hell because killing 

>herself was a sin. 

>>Don't let this happen to someone you 

>know, Jesus loves 

>>everybody, and so should you.  

>God bless!

Props go to RhymeZone for helping me with some of these attrocious lines.

So, there's your assignment, get busy. I am also awaiting my next picture assignment, I think I can do even more with this tablet-pc-hybrid notebook...

--gh

2004-09-28T14:17:00.000-04:00

SMASHING..

OK, so Dad is on board...what about Dean and Rockandporkandbeanscan?

-m

Awaiting Rawkstah's Dad

2004-09-28T01:45:00.000-04:00

Word's out that RawksDad may be added to this multi-author blog. I say, about time! I'm tired of being the sole "Elder Statesman."
--gh

Now, don't you feel safer?

2004-09-22T13:21:00.000-04:00

You know, I sure am glad that Tom Ridge is earning his paycheck by keeping us safe from dangerous folks like this....

In Honor of the New Semeseter....

2004-08-31T09:20:00.000-04:00

In honor of the new semester, here are some genuine quotes that I've collected from tests and papers over the last couple of years, mostly in my World Regional Geography and Elements of Cultural Geography classes. As Dave Barry would say, "I am not making any of this up."

-- "The European Union requires the teaching of Russian in all the schools to create a common culture."
-- "Northern Ireland is primarily Eastern Orthodox"
-- Devolution: "the destruction of evolutionary materials."
-- "The Men In Knights around here are not Amish, but they do drive buggies."
-- "The Amish allowing tourists in is hippo critical!"
-- "Sri Lanka is located between Israel and Pakestine."
-- "The USSR broke up into Ireland, Scotland, and Wales."
-- "The Swedes in Lindsborg, Kansas used to be Jewish until the 1960s."
-- "The Dominican Republic of the Congo became independent from Africa a couple of years ago."
-- "Three alternatives to fossil fuel generated electricity are electricity, hydropower, and genocide."
-- "Pizza conquered the Inca empire."
-- One of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism: "One must give in to all evil."
-- Karma: "The aroma around you and the feeling it gives people."
-- "I believe that Iraq will become a democratic government whether the people want it or not." [ed. note: Really! I am not making any of these up!]
-- Maquiladora: "A law that says that pregnant Indians are not to be seen."

Happy new semester to those of you reading this who are of the semesterly type, and happy September to those of you who aren't. Onward through the fog.....

Who needs MUSIC-MATCH when you have LAME and AUDACITY???

2004-08-21T02:19:00.000-04:00

Thanks Messr Fairly:

(Press the triangly play button to hear his concoction. This will be around as long as I have the room there.)

Maybe blogger will start hosting 10Gb free data hosting next. Everything else is free nowadays...

Of course, there is always AKWID. LTC-MWC came into my office today and this is what I was playing on my stereo:

(Can't tell you how good it feels to have him with us again.)

--gh

2004-08-17T10:42:00.000-04:00

FREE LYRICS..

OK. To save us some trouble in creating lyrics for our neo-con punk band (have we decided on 'Kapitalist' for a name?), I say we use these statements from Bush & his spokesmen as lyrics:

Maybe we could create a chorus (or pull something from our previously suggested song snippets), to fill with.

The song ought be called, I think, I'm Not a Tree, I'm a Bush. Or maybe, Who Needs Trees When You Got Bushes?

-m

W.

2004-08-12T13:05:00.000-04:00

OK, I've been out of town for most of the last month, hence my scarce contributions to this esteemed blog. I've spent all morning dealing with computer people who are installing new computers in our offices, but who neglected to actually transfer any of my old files over. Anyway, here's a token post for now: Check out this W. video from Will Ferrell....

Bush/Kerry 2004

2004-08-11T01:05:00.000-04:00

As you know, I am more political on Staircase Wit than I am on my own blog. This gives me a wonderful opportunity to share this story with you because it is too cute to miss.

Apparently, George Bush is airing commercials for the Kerry campaign now. Click over to one of my favorite sites, The Smoking Gun to see the footage of a recent speech.

If you are too lazy to click, or don't have broadband, then here is the quote, in regards to "our" enemies:

"They never stop thinking about 

new ways to harm our country and our 

people, and neither do we."

--gh

Song from Sveriges Radio

2004-08-11T00:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, maybe all of our lyrics need to be sung through LET THEM SING IT FOR YOU.

There are quite a few words that are not in his dictionary, which makes this somewhat bothersome to use. Also, to "save" your work, you have to email it to yourself to get the "key."

If you are thinking of writing some wonderful prose, be sure to stay away from the word "I." It's cute for the first 1/3 of the second, and then it gets annoying for the remainder. This dude's engine would be better if it was more random, like that Beavis & Butthead random bot that we played with in the late 1990s. (Has anything replaced that? It should be java-ized and on the web by now.)

--gh

2004-08-07T11:14:00.000-04:00

Well...there is a walk-through (incomplete) here for those of you who don't mind cheating..

-m

2004-08-07T11:05:00.000-04:00

HELP..

Has anyone solved Peasant's Quest yet?

I'm stuck at 41 points, and can't seem to find a robe, or set myself on fire.

-m

Special Drawer

2004-08-06T02:26:00.000-04:00

No nekiddy pictures were used to modify this image (proof!)

--gh

2004-08-05T15:12:00.000-04:00

OK...Here is my entry for the Family Circus Mockery Project, Week 1.....
Sort of an inside joke, but I think we're all down with Homestar.

-m

2004-08-05T13:58:00.000-04:00

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!

OK, since G-Had has provided us with this wonderful, inspired, GeoTechnicolor work of genius, here is the next assignment:

Photoshop this Family Circus from the 70's:

My own attempt at the first cartoon will appear soon...(maybe)

-m

Yellow socks

2004-08-05T01:30:00.000-04:00

Fine, are you satisfied? I'm ready for my next assignment.

--gh

Some news

2004-08-03T00:25:00.000-04:00

So, Dad had a heart attack on Sunday.

He's fine, but incredibly bored. He should be released from the hospital (BryanLGH in Lincoln, NE) Tuesday or Wednesday.

I know that there were murmurings of having him be on this blog, and I'm sure he'd appreciate the invite, and also emails. His address is be21314(at)alltel.net

Sorry for my lack of activity here. Been doing... other stuff... yeah.

You can prolly get more details on my blog.

-- RawkStah

2004-08-01T14:04:00.000-04:00

THERE'S NO ACTION..

Fine, you lazy bastards. Don't participate. I won't either..

Here's an easier one..So they're having a competition to suggest the most beautiful German word. Personally, I think of German as a utilitarian language, and not all that beautiful. But, I appreciate the way they tie lots of smaller words together to mean something complicated. For instance, there is probably a word in German that means 'go online to order a laserjet toner cartridge,' that sounds something like 'Gotgittinundtcartrichvonlaserinkeinonlein.'

So I'm looking for nominations for the most beautiful English words. Here are some of my suggestions:

-coffeepot
-lackluster
-somersault
-winnow
-slippery
-perspiration
-spinnerbait

-m

2004-07-27T00:20:00.000-04:00

FOTOSHOP (OR MSPAINT) PHRIDAY

OK, your assignment for Friday (or this weekend, sometime), is a combination of Something Awful's Photoshop Phriday and something Steve (I think) mentioned once...

Your assignment is to Photoshop (or MS Paint, if you are PS-deficient) a new, humorous caption for the following Family Circus cartoon, which was chosen at random:

Bon chance..

-m

2004-07-24T19:46:00.000-04:00

I'm sure, being as it is that we're all huge dorks, that we're all aware of this by now..but just to be sure...

-m

Conservative Sock Monkey

2004-07-18T00:10:00.000-04:00

I added the Waypath Buzz Maker to the template of this blog. (Scroll all the way to the bottom.)

It will track the five most important things to each of us, and how often it is discussed on the web. Rawk is apparently much more important than Bolivian Elections. There are more options, and more tools ("Related Stuff!") but this looks like a service that won't even be in existence by November...

--gh

Black People Love Us!

2004-07-11T03:00:00.000-04:00

I came across this site (Black People Love Us!) because I wanted to see if a web search for "Black People" still leads to an eBay sponsored link. (It does by the way, mentioning antiques and collectibles, no where near as bad as it used to be.)

This site is almost perfect, except for one naughty testimonial. (I am warning you.) From the letters, it is amazing that many people don't understand satire. What's worse are the people that have to send them a letter saying "I get it, this is satire." Maybe it is even worse that I have to tell you that it is satire.

This should be required reading for white people, and conservative punk rock bands.

(If that bored you, try this: Saddam's Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Did you know that the blogger's built-in spell-check doesn't know the word "blog?")
--gh

2004-07-06T20:52:00.000-04:00

Actually, the website from which that second image comes is worth a link in and of itself.

Bedanged if I can tell what it's all about. Especially good is the Family Indigestion Cookbook.

Mmmmmmmmmm....Molded Pork Loaf....

I am SO making that the next time we have Abbie over for dinner.

-m

2004-07-06T20:47:00.000-04:00

For those interested, a GIS (Google Image Search) for 'monkey' gives the following as the 2nd result:

Isn't that the tenderest thing you've ever seen?

One of the other results features 3 words that would make a great band or album name:

G-Had: Blogger is emailing me when there are comments to this blog. You can only enter one email address to be informed re: comments. Perhaps there is a way we could use one central email account, and forwarding, to allow all members to receive an email when comments are made? (I could probably figure it out, but I'm feeling lazy)

-m

For those hot summer days......

2004-07-05T13:59:00.000-04:00

"Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream".... In the words of my brother, Phil, "anything else i could write here would be irrelevant."

Fine, take the month off, see you in August...

2004-07-03T01:11:00.000-04:00

Google Search: classic donkey art

And let this inspire you:

Rawk on, bruddahs.

--gh

Rule by.....

2004-06-21T14:29:00.000-04:00

OK, in retrospect, the song should be called "Plutocracy in the USA," since plutocracy is rule by the wealthy, whereas oligarchy means "government by the few, esp. for corrupt and selfish purposes." Not to say that those are necessarily mutually exclusive designations.... But plutocracy always makes me think of "rule by animorphic Disney characters."

Kapitalist Handbag

2004-06-19T00:21:00.000-04:00

Searching for "Kapitalist" online, I thought I'd find many bands with that name, but apparently there are more named Chaotika. However, we might need a rule about any name that already has a dance club with its own handbag:

Then again, the name "Kapitalist Handbag" has some song title potential. Do you think the Beatles, or Metallica, or Beatallica came up with song titles first, then lyrics, then music?

Found an interesting trend searching for "Kapitalist Handbag" which lead me to "Capitalist Handbag". Seeing only 1,560 search results on google, I thought pluralising "handbag" would bring the search down to more Google Whacking potential. However, the search for "Capitalist Handbags" led to 31,100 results. This confirms the fact that capitalists like things in plural, because they can afford more handbags.

I am going to have to admit right now that I am more musical than lyrical. Without knowing what process Hetfield/Hammett or Lennon/McCartney used, I think of the music first, or at the same time. So, here is an intro:

  Middle Class Burden

F#5    F#5/E    F#5    F#5/E   F#5    F#5/E    F#5   

It's    not    my     fault    that    everything's

B/F#  A/E

so    easy

F#5    F#5/E    F#5    F#5/E   F#5    F#5/E    F#5   

--middle  class   and   white  it's   considered

A/E

a crime!

F#5    F#5/E    F#5    F#5/E   F#5    F#5/E    F#5   

My    burden  is    explaining  how  I got  what I

B/F#  A/E

needed --every-

F#5    F#5/E    F#5    F#5/E   F#5    F#5/E    F#5   

job    every     loan    every    thing   every

A/E

time...

(C) 2004

It looks more complicated than it is, more reflecting a lazy left-hand style with thumb (lifts for E, Hendrix style) and no more than 3 strings at once, but not all power chords (5). I think the next verse would be based on the subdominant (B), same riff.

This stuff is hard to write when listening to bachata and cumbia, but maybe that will enhance its style.

--gh

2004-06-18T10:48:00.000-04:00

Oh..and I think a good name for a conservative punk band might be "Kapitalist."

-m

2004-06-18T10:35:00.000-04:00

4-TRACKING SOFTWARE..

So..I was lamenting the fact that we hadn't taken advantage of geography and formed our con-punk band while we were in Maryville. But then I realized that this is probably the whole reason the "Information Superhighway" was created. So for instance, there is this. So I think we should collaborate on an album...

At the very least, Fairly Crass (perhaps featuring Shaken Moneymaker Syndrome and Los Haddocks del Norte) should finally, finally, finally, finish an album. Or at least a song.

-m

2004-06-17T21:26:00.000-04:00

LYRICS..

OK, for the first verse, the part that goes:

I am an anti-christ
I am an anarchist,
Don’t know what I want
But I know how to get it.
I wanna destroy the passer by
’cos I wanna be anarchy,

...how about this:

I am a fan of Christ
I am a man of Christ
I know what I want
and I know how to get it.
I wanna destroy the middle class
'cos I wanna be oligarchy

It needs work..

-m

Reedin' and Punkin'

2004-06-17T10:53:00.000-04:00

Lessee. . . . I'm currently slowly working my way through the 700-page Pushcart Prize anthology from last year - it's an annual compilation of the best stuff printed by small presses (fiction, non-fiction, and poetry). Well worth the time; some of it is crud, but there's a lot of good stuff, as well as some pretentious "I'm in a writer's workshop and so surely everyone wants to read about my sexual frustrations" sorts of pieces. Overall quality level is very high, though, and pretension quotient is very low. I'm also starting Matt Rohrer's new book of poetry (whose name escapes me right now) - Matt is a good friend of mine from high school and was the best man in our wedding. I tried reading "I, Claudius" by Robert Graves (a fictionalized "autobiography" of the stuttering Roman emperor) earlier in the summer, but sort of got bogged down. I think that may be more of a depth-of-winter project rather than a lazy-hazy-crazy-days-of-summer project. Lisa and I are still working our way through an out-loud--before-bedtime-reading of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." Finally, I'm working my way through Eric Schlosser's (who also wrote "Fast Food Nation", which I highly recommend) "Reefer Madness", which explores the underground economy - illegal migrant farmworkers, the drug trade, and I can't remember what else. That's my sitting-in-the-tub-and-back-of-toilet reading. If I actually focused on a single book, I might actually finish one of them some day.

In other news, Ninja-master Rumsfeld can be found here.

If we ever do actually form our capitalist punk band, we could do a remake of the Sex Pistol's song, entitled "Oligarchy in the USA." I'm still working out the lyrics, but if anybody has some suggestions for verses that could fit into the song structure of "Anarchy in the UK", let's hear 'em.

IIIIIIIIII.....wanna beeeeeeeee....oligarchyyyy...get rich, destroy! Ahhahahaha!!!!

Finally, I'll leave you with this story, since I don't know what to make of it....

Bennett signing in

2004-06-16T16:45:00.000-04:00

So, yeah. Various things -- hotmail is, in fact, teh suck. However, the invitation I got was expired so, even without the suck, I couldn't join. 'Cept that now I did. So, yeah.

Pyro would be awesome. And backstage (backblog?) Betties.

As far as lists go, do books that we're supposed to be reading count? Cuz I have loads of those.

The Devil In The White City

2004-06-16T02:10:00.000-04:00

Can we exchange which books we are reading this summer? If you have 500-hours of forest hiking duty, you can exempt yourself from this game.

Currently, I am consumed by The Devil In The White City by Erik Larson (writes for Atlantic Monthly). I know it is a year old, but this is the Midwest, and well, you know...

This is the kind of book I would read even without the serial killer story woven in. I also learned a lot more about Frederick Law Olmstead, whose later life was not that dreamy.

I really want to know what k-dubya (S's dagaare name, I think) is reading.
--gh

2004-06-16T01:11:00.000-04:00

MORE STUFF..

So Bennet isn't online yet, because he has Hotmail (everyone point and laugh!). I'll let him figure it out (hint: it involves not having Hotmail, which sucks, for numerous reasons).

Perhaps we should get us one of those counter/tracker things..

And some links.

And some pyrotechnics.

-m

Blog, bloggishness, blogosity, blogorama, blogesque

2004-06-14T11:42:00.000-04:00

Hello all,
Just checking to see if this works. By the way, I opted to change my name from the rather pedestrian "S" to the more interesting "Kabiebayo", which is the Dagaare name that the folks in Lisa's village gave me when I visited Ghana - it means "travels and sees." It's a shortened form of a Dagaare proverb that says, basically, that it is only when one travels that one realizes just how little one knows of the world.

2004-06-12T21:59:00.000-04:00

ALL SET..

OK. Invitations have been sent to:

Steve
Rawkstah
LyleDeanBurgher

Anyone else that should be included? Abbei teh Cat? Henry Rollins? Francis?

-m

Tornado Warning for Gage County

2004-06-12T13:53:00.000-04:00

Mark is now an admin, you can invite folks and change things. I want Rawkstah's "Dad"...

It's amazing that I am sitting under a beautiful blue sky, slightly humid, and warm enough to almost welcome summer -- and yet we are in a tornado watch. Looks like Gage had an actual warning...

I still think they messed up when naming those alerts "watch" and "warning." It is the equivalent of the common call when a foul ball is hit: "Heads UP!" --which actually means "duck!" Since "watch" only means that conditions are favorable, it makes "warning" seem that nothing is really imminent. In fact, "Tornado Imminent" sounds more threatening than "warning." And now a warning can be made because doplar radar "thinks" it sees tornadic activity, increasing the frequency of warnings, making people less cautious than they should be.

Any suggestions for a better system? We can forward them to the National Weather Service, (NWS).

From NWS: 

* AT 1247 PM CDT... RADAR INDICATED A 

SEVERE STORM WITH A POSSIBLE TORNADO. 

THE MOST DANGEROUS PART OF THE STORM 

WAS LOCATED 8 MILES SOUTHWEST OF ADAMS... 

OR ABOUT 10 MILES NORTHEAST OF BEATRICE... 

MOVING EAST AT 25 MPH.

When Van Halen recorded "Jump" in 1984, I was so MAD. Now it is playing on the local classic rock station... elderly and stuff.

2004-06-11T23:55:00.000-04:00

RAISON D'ETRE..

Is it time to invite blog-commenting all-stars yet?

-m

2004-06-11T23:53:00.000-04:00

BETTER

OK. That fixed that.

I say we keep our previous blogging styles. For instance, my titles look like this:

RONALD WHO?

-m

2004-06-11T23:52:00.000-04:00

see if this works.

-rawkstah's friend

More on usernames

2004-06-11T23:49:00.000-04:00

Oh, I see, Mark did attach to FairlyCrass when signing in. Just did not catch that.

Great, now we have a dog posting to this blog.
--th

usernames

2004-06-11T23:39:00.000-04:00

Now there is something else that I have to figure out, I was not expecting the username "mark", I just would have thought it would attach to your regular blogger account.

Maybe I should invite Terra to see what the email looks like... Terra? No wait, that really is a nom-de-whatever, since, surprise, I am the actual author for her page...
--gh

2004-06-11T17:13:00.000-04:00

K.

K. I'm here. Just spent 3 days up in the mountains, attempting to start to core trees. It snowed on us. At this point, I feel I must reiterate the immortal words of one of the best professors I ever had, Ken Gerow:

"This [ecology] ain't rocket science; this is complicated!"

I probably shant (where does the apostrophe go in that contraction?? "shan't?" "sha'nt?" "sh'a'nt?") be posting often, for the next month or so, as I will be dodging bears and mountain lions, braving the snow, trudging up impossible inclines, etc., all in the name of science.

-m

As if there weren't enough diversionz on the net...

2004-06-11T14:23:00.000-04:00

This is the second coming of StaircaseWit, I've been meaning to write a book about that.
--gh